i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
