am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
