I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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