What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
