Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
