dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
