I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
