When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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