Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I deserve to be covered in dicks
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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