If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
