bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
