Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
