Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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