Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
