there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
