i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
