Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Couch. On fire.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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