I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
