i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
