Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
