i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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