Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
