one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
