im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
