Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
