What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
