1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she smelled like a LAN party
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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