So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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