is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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