Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
