never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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