you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
