Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
