Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
