Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
