It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
