Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
