Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
