Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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