he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
