after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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