I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
