so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
