I can tuck mytits in my pants
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
