drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
