i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Randomize
