And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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