I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do you remember whose house we're in?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
