How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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