I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
