i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
