So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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