I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
